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Simunza's Lyric: A Letter to My Ex |
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Written by Simunza S. Muyangana
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Dear Girl,
I’ve never taken the opportunity to say this and it’s probably because I know you really do not care. I’ve thought this over, through, about and around. I now finally admit that my hurts never been over.
Truth told you always were a good friend or should that read - a fun friend. I enjoyed a lot of the times we shared, shooting pool, taking walks, hanging in DJ’s booth and all. I’d tune into radio on a Sunday afternoon just to hear your radio show. Life was simple yet so adventurous. We dared at everything that could be done. We were unstoppable. Pushing the edge without seeming rebellious was a style we brought into fashion. Those were such good times. Did they have to come to an end?
I’ve finally come to peace with my hurting heart. It’s really taken a while. Try, as much as I have, it’s been hard to move on. I’ve met some, loved some and lost them all. Not at any one of those times did I realize that I still held you in my heart.
The issue has never been that you felt you had to move on. What tore me apart was the manner in which you left. The betrayal more than anything else left a scar through which I’ve wept. The long distance calls, journeys from outside town, letters written and sweet whispers of love all had me fooled. I still can’t believe that I was blind to the fact that you were actually living with another man.
Caught up in you, I thought, I owed you chance after chance. Forgive – I was taught. No one’s perfect – I’d heard. The truth is that I wouldd have gladly done so were it not for the fact that this had already happened before.
I’ve hated you, I’ve cried, I’ve told my story about us to every soul I’ve met. Most tragic of all is that I’ve let love walk in and out my door. My fear that your kind of wickedness could exist in another heart has far outweighed my longing to experience joy once again.
Remember… I’ve never learned to say goodbye. I’ve never asked the question why. I’ve never had an enemy and until you, I simply didn’t know how.
I could say you were nasty but you weren’t. To say you weren’t cool would be untrue. Unfaithful – sums it all.
I never call, speak to you or of you. I am loyal to my friends. I love to trust them but you chose not to be one of them.
As hopeless as it may sound – I forgive you. This weight of hate, I've carried so long has only bound me instead. It's like I chose to remain a victim of our past. God forbid that I use you as an excuse once again.
I wish you joy and happiness because I'm grateful for the good times we shared. They say “When it rains it pours, when it pours it rains” - whatever that means! Just have the very best.
Happy Valentines!
Boy
~ Simunza S. Muyangana
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It’s good to feel pain, hurt and emotion cause it makes you stronger, I assure you I’ve been there done that but bottom line is making sure you learn from your experiences.
You sound embittered and doesn’t seem like you’ve let go she was never yours
In one sentence, sure you heard it before; “love comes to those who believe it.”
Be open to love and you’d be amazed at its intensity to be with you.