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I have not written in a while and Yes! I am rusty! The notion of writers block is very vivid once you assume you can actually write. Given this tag, well, I guess I will parade it as an excuse. Anyway! For those people out there new to my sarcastic mode of writing, brace yourselves, it could be worse! I could be writing about you!
 Who is paying for drinks? My mates and I went out a couple of weeks for a drink at chit chat ( Zambian will know) and we pretty much just sat there for the best part of the day catching up! I had arrived earlier and amassed my fair share of the bill; on leaving, we all pitched and we left. Now! There is nothing wrong with that is there??? Ok! These are my female friends Chola and Chali and I love them to bits, I pay when I can and they equally do the same! This brings me to the subject of this article, Ladies out there! When is it right for a guy to share the bill with you? Is it assumed that when a guy asks you out for a drink he should food the entire bill even you kept ordering drinks that have exotic names and food that is eaten during coronations! I think you all kind of skipped dating 101.
What’s a date? A time to make small talk, size each other up and see if the girl/boy is worth being with, it’s not in any way a time to see if a guy has a limit on his ATM card! Nor a time to see how many of your friends or sisters you can pack into the mini to go on date with the new guy! Ladies! I have to ask this one more time, what is the idea behind the escorts??? You know your friends talk too much for starters and obviously have no dates, and you attack the poor guy with the “Ask 1 out get 5 free” deal… that aint right. Brothers out there, this is the one occasion you are not allowed to pick up the bill… Don’t give alms!
We are still on the date thing! Taking, a few drinks, preferably non alcoholic. 2 things might happen! Firstly, you may take too much and then, it’s no longer a date! Guys! This is now a mission! Ha ha ha! Secondary, the bill is still a concern!!
Ok! Say we get past the date and you actually find that you can tolerate this guy, Yes! women don’t simply love, they tolerate us, and I don’t want any brother out there thinking his woman simply loves him! News Flash! She tolerates you, the day she cannot take anymore of your crap! You are gone! Anyway, say we are past all that, and you are “soul mates” and all that jazz. What is the bill arrangement? Do you still pay the whole bill? What if you cannot, are you considered a broke ass &*%ger, a tight *%% or simply a liberal man of the 21st century who believes women should be given equal rights to settling the bill?
Word of advice guys:
New date: Pay the bill even it kills you, and please! Please! Please! Leave the calculator at home. Its embarrassing, to hell with being accountable, no woman wants to be seen with an “auditor” on a date.
Stable relationship/ Wife etc: Take turns, she now knows you are a tight *^%3 anyway and she can put up with you.
Female friends: Damn! Let them pay! That’s what friends do! They pay bills!
Take time to smile…. Its nature’s way of saying you are alive. Peace!
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anyhow... bottom line is if a guy was after me and made me pay the bill or even chip in... i wouldnt look back - what is the point!!!!