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A friend recently sent me an article on why so many women are successful these days and yet lonely! It made for both interesting and sad reading and naturally I thought about it long and hard! The article dwells on material success, philanthropy but yet emptiness inside for one so accomplished. I think the modern day woman is a bit disillusioned and I write this with a high level of gender sensitivity. We all need to understand that success and happiness are not connected in any way. Until you realizes that the human heart is flesh and no amount of study or tact can tame it, we will continue to debate on this subject. When matters of the heart are on hand, you have to throw away the manual, the 10 step guide to dating, the revised edition of how to keep your man; you have to go with your heart.
I am soft at heart, I cry when I hurt and I say what I feel, this might be seen as unmanly but that’s me. As a man I think I understand my roles and I continue to pray to God that each day, he defines them with clarity and gives me the strength to achieve them. My ability to show a soft side of my nature does not make me a woman, it just echoes the fact that I am human and strip away the arrogance, the education, sarcasm and a few meters in height, you will find a person who loves life and just wants to be loved. Ok! Away let’s get away from the “days of our lives” script. I don’t believe men are intimidated by women who are successful, far from it, any sensible man wants a woman with a degree of ambition and vision, the problem comes in when this woman with all her accomplishments detaches herself from the “woman”. Not so much from are civil roles as a woman, but when she detaches herself from what we all want in a woman! Companionship! When she closes her heart because she is a modern day woman who should be strong, assertive and in control, when a basic normal activity that any other woman would gladly do becomes a point of debate in gender equality! This is no longer a man and a woman in a healthy relationship but 2 politicians trying to earn political mileage. No man wants that in a relationship.
It is also very sad to note that the “educated” ones are the worst when it comes to expressing their feelings, spelling out their dreams, hopes, etc. The whole concept is a black box, a myth and usually only opens up in the event of a disaster, when it is usually too late to make amends. With all your education and success, one would think you have the means to express yourself. The loneliness and self exile sterns from the attitude they pick up on the way to success. They develop a “f^&k” it attitude. It’s funny that some women will fight for the rights of monkeys in the Congo, but not for love, preach world peace and reconciliation but fail to talk to their partners about how they feel or hurt inside. I believe in love and destiny, and I believe that there are some things in life worth fighting for; and sometimes the only weapons you have are your heart, tears and words.
I try as much as possible not to speak for other men in my articles, and this will be no exception. A woman is a rose, created flawless by God to be admired, cherished and appreciated because those are some of the roles she was created to fulfill. If the “Beijing Syndrome” starts clouding what we look for in women, then yes! You will be alone and successful, and don’t even give me that nonsense that you don’t need a man because I will be honest and say I need a woman in my life, I need a woman not for reasons entirely relegated to copulation, rather for companionship, knowing there is someone who will just see me plainly and love what she sees. I think women just don’t know when the doctorate gown needs to be shed off! Mind you, you have earned it, no one is going to take it away from you, so why not just be a woman and not a woman with a good job, a woman with nice car…. Just be a woman, because in the end, that’s all that matters. Now! If your mother didn’t tell you how to be a woman! Then that’s a problem we can’t fix!
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A woman has to be a "woman" to be appreciated by the men folk; and i believe that men who cry are the stronger because they are not afraid to to seek within themselves and connect with their cores and live life to the fullest.
I cry when i hurt too and i come out stronger because then i fully understand my situation.
One love.