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 "There is not one marriage in today's culture that is not vulnerable. Why? Because we've allowed the culture to seep into our souls...
Clearly we can no longer pattern our marriages after the people around us -- if we ever could. Not only does the world not know how to divorce-proof its marriages, it is well on the way to making broken relationships the norm"
-- Dr. Fred Lowery
I want to start by saying, I believe marriage is a beautiful institution and it can work if both of you are determined to make it work! My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old but my father remarried a couple of years later and that marriage has lasted. So I know that sometimes it doesn't go too well and has to end, and sometimes it does work and lasts a life time. If you are between 20yrs – 40yrs you probably know more than three people who are divorced or getting divorced. Do you think they have valid reasons? These days someone can leave youbecause you irritate them and they just don't love you anymore. It’s kinda like getting a new puppy, in the beginning you pamper it, over feed it, buy it toys, a fancy collar, give it cute names... then it starts growing and the cuteness begins to fade. Cleaning up after it becomes horrific and nauseating. It cannot fit into its little basket and develops its own personality, it now challenges you, you're no longer the boss, it still licks your foot and jumps on you but it's not the same. How can you get back to how it used to be?
Do women know what rights or equal opportunities they are fighting for today? Is a gender balance achievable? I can make as much money as a man, be more educated and intelligent but I can never be a man and that's just fine with me. I don't want to compete with men, God has given us different and special individual blessings as women and men. Someone needs to educate me, what is my role in a marriage. The bible says the man should be a man and look after his wife and home. Society says I should contribute, pay bills, buy food and clothe the children. What is going on? Don't call women who feel men must look after them gold diggers or cheap, the bible tells us our men will look after us. Don't even think about bringing up the submissive issue because I will not be a dignified maid, but because I love my man I will make sure he is fed, healthy and happy. My place is not in the kitchen by the way, I'm at work most of the day like him so also deserve to touch the remote when we get back home. I will not take my heels off and place the brazier (mbaula) between my thighs to prepare his hot meal. If I can pay someone to cook for us, is that a crime? I love cooking and will do so as much as I can. By the way I hate doing dishes, but I love a clean kitchen, I have mastered the art of packing plates neatly in a sink, you would be amazed. I will love my man selflessly, promise not cheat and be a great friend. Can I ask him to do the same?
What is marriage? I think God had a serious plan for us but we have redefined it and totally ruined the plan that is why it is not working. Do our men understand that the fact that they have to look after their women and that it is an instruction from God! This is not a joke, it's a serious order.
So I'm almost 30yrs old, not married , went through my panic stage a few years ago but right now I am at peace. I know my HIV status, I have a good job, great friends and really enjoy dating.
What about you?
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